Men and their “self-gratification” (part 1)

Part 1/3

This is a story that happened a few years ago. I wish I had a pen and paper to note it down or had started blogging by then.

(sighs )

This is my version of the story. Like my man always says there are 3 sides of a story… Yours, mine and the actual truth… So here we will stick to my version.

As I was saying, this happened a few months after marriage, when we had set up our new place and I was relatively comfortable with my man’s friends, now they are mine too…

In the beginning of the marriage I used to cook a lot, maybe that was my only way to be relevant in the conversations they have… I hadn’t learned to talk in punchlines and the few times that I tried they said I burned people; so I stopped.

And I followed what all mother’s advise their little girls —  that the way to the man’s heart is through his tummy…

I should tell you that all our mothers missed the point by few inches and now I know why most of the men in their 50s  are fat and unhappy. Anyway that’s a topic for another time.

Usually our friends don’t have conversations, we like watching failed videos on YouTube and chill…

But this day they decided to talk… And I don’t know how they ended up talking about masturbation.

As the only woman present there at that time I had to act cool to represent the modern woman, at the same time wrap up the entire conversation in my head…

Masturbation in the women’s world is still the forbidden fruit. I have never heard man or woman talk about it so openly in the past and I didn’t know how to handle it. I thought I can go on and on about periods but not this because I had no clue about it.

So each one in the group started sharing the weirdest place they had masturbated.

Because I love them I wouldn’t reveal any names here. I should mention that the topic didn’t make me uncomfortable at all but I was amused by the comfort these men shared.

Anyway…

X said on the top birth of the local train. That makes sense why most of the men in my family preferred the upper birth… It wasn’t chivalry…

D said forest. I understand people going to pee… This urge is beyond my understanding.

Then there was flight. Since then I judge every man that takes extra time in the airplane’s washroom…

Everything changed for me after that…

Next one took sometime and said lift… I knew he is bull-shitting… Men turn everything into a competition…

Anyway we were all sitting in a circle and after two people it was my turn… So do I have to add on, I thought.

My heart started beating fast and my head started spinning… I couldn’t keep the cool anymore. I thought I would excuse myself to check if I had left something on the gas by then they would move to the next one. The old trick you have tried in the school. “Maam may I go to the washroom”

Alas! It didn’t work coz a gentleman offered to help instead. I think he didn’t have a cool story to tell too…

Next was me… All eyes shifted to me and I freezed…

Rest to be continued….

20 Comments

  1. Well, as a guy, yes, we guys are all comfortable while we talk about masturbation, its a guy thing i guess πŸ˜‚. I think we all do it in weird places not because of the urge but for the experience, to know how it is like. Think of it as a “creative venture”? πŸ˜…

    P.S – it has nothing to do with wiener flashing in public πŸ™πŸ˜… thats a disorder.

  2. Well, i remember a trip 3 years back. We besties 6 had 3peg each and went swimming in a pond. Icy cold… and had a competition who comes first in masturbation… In that chilled water after 3 pegs… that was the toughest one we had in our life… 😁😁😁 and none came success 🚩🚩🚩🚩

  3. Dnt think that it is only done by men,women are also equally upto the task,.

    Ps:either they do it very secretly or doesnt reveal it like a man does..

  4. I am a girl with a friend with benefits.. i never used to talk to anyone about masturbation or sex openly.. after being with my friend for 1 month, we both started talking so openly about this topic even specifying the way we both like it…i think there is no shame in talking about such topic because this is not at all a secret..everyone does it someway or another..some youngsters may do it even without realising they are masturbating.

    Waiting for your whole story…!

  5. ..I followed what all mother’s advise their little girls β€” that the way to the man’s heart is through his tummy…

    I should tell you that all our mothers missed the point by few inches and now I know why most of the men in their 50s are fat and unhappy…. πŸ˜€ Exactly.. And nicely put.

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