Sorry for not being able to be regular here… Past few weeks have been a ride that I’ll share it later…

Today’s post might not be like the usual…

Anyway, here we go

If I ask you the about your first memory of death what would it be?
Mine was when I was little, maybe 4, when my dad’s elder brother passed away… I was staring at all the adults in the house, when we got the news. His elder son was staying with us in Delhi and he was packing his bags to leave for Kerala. I remember some adult noticing me being confused about what was going on and came close to me and told me, is “Sabu chettai’de papa illa”. It took me a while to understand what that meant and my first thought was “Sabu chettaikku papa illalo enikyu ondu”. Don’t judge me I truly didn’t understand the meaning of death.

I understood it when my mom’s dad passed away. I was in my 5th std. We received a phone call at night, as usual my mom picked up the phone… My dad was traveling… So there was just my mom, brother and me. My mother started crying on the phone and it was non stop. Whoever has met my mother knows that she is a tough woman. I had never seen her cry like that. She kept the phone and we asked her what happened… She didn’t respond and went to her room… We both got worried. when I went and sat next to her on the bed. She kept saying chachan poyi.. Chachan poyi…
That’s the moment I truly understood what Sabu chettai had gone through..

Since then I have always imagined how it would be losing a close one… Everyone knows how close I am to my parents… Losing someone close would be so painful right?
Woodie gave me answers to all that. It hurts. You feel helpless, the only thing you want is them back in your life.

A week back I brought a puppy home from Bangalore…. a Cocker Spaniel… The best breed for a person who is scared of dogs… I can vouch for it. He was one of the most loving and intelligent puppies I have ever seen… Even though I have met very few of them…. In two days he was acting slightly weird and I took him to the vet… He was diagnosed with Parvo virus…
The doctor said there was very less chances coz he was a puppy (37days old).
My dad, Woodie and I werent willing to lose the battle without a good flight. The doctor asked me to ask the breeder for an exchange. I was slightly in shock with that response… He is my baby!

I’m not going into the details of the the 4 day fight but all I want to tell you is it hurts…
He died in my arms… He was a good fighter and I’ll always be his mother…
Usually for me penning down helps but I guess this will stay for longer.


  1. Archana, I have had dogs almost all my life, but for a six year gap in between. That was because after I lost Tipsy, who was with me from the time I was 8 years old to the time I was 21, it was so hard to move on, that it took 6 years. Now my family has Coco, a cocker spaniel we chose to bring into our lives one year into our marriage. He’s our first baby. We have two girls too. The girls love their furry bro, and to my hubby and I, he’s our lifeline. But he’s 10 years old now; and as age is catching up with him, I am beginning to understand that time may be running out. The thought kills me and I don’t usually talk about it. I am saying this here, coz I feel your pain. Losing your baby is never going to feel okay. Time may or may not heal. But the memories will live.
    So dear, keep the faith. Keep the memories alive. And the healing may come. Hugs.

  2. I know exactly how u feel.. I got my first puppy when I was 10..she left us when I was 22. She was there with me through childhood, teenage and early youth.. She was the best thing to have happened in my life..I have hugged and cried my heart out when no one was there.. She instinctively understood my mood and would stay still till I calmed down.. Used to stay by my bedside when I was sick..When she died I couldn’t go to college for a week..That’s when I realized that death is so painful for the ones left behind..I am 35 now and I still miss her badly.. There’s not a single day that passes by without her running through my mind.. I wish and pray that u find peace…Woodie is now healed and safe and happily playing around in heaven..

  3. I know how it feels to lose a dear dear pet. It’s inexplicable. I lost my budgie of 8 years early last year. I couldn’t accept it. Every time I woke up from sleep, I just wished it was a dream. But, it was real. I was deeply hurt with all kinds of emotions and thoughts. Over a period of time, I started accepting the truth that my ‘Frodo’ passed away and I believe that he is in the happiest place in heaven.

    You will get through it. Woodie will always be part of your life. Sadly, we have to accept the truth. May god give you all the strength to accept it.

  4. Gʀɪᴇғ ɪs sᴏ ᴘᴀɪɴғᴜʟʟʏ ʀᴇᴀʟ, ʀᴇɢᴀʀᴅʟᴇss ᴏғ ɪᴛs ᴏʀɪɢɪɴ. Tʜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴏғ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴀᴛᴛᴀᴄʜᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴛᴏ, ᴀɴ ᴀɴɪᴍᴀʟ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅ ᴄᴀɴ ᴇǫᴜᴀʟ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴏғ ʜᴜᴍᴀɴ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘs. Lɪᴋᴇᴡɪsᴇ, ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏss ᴏғ ᴀɴ ᴀɴɪᴍᴀʟ ᴄᴀɴ ʙᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴀs ᴅᴇᴠᴀsᴛᴀᴛɪɴɢ.

  5. I have a 14 year old dog with whom we have grown up . And now he have given up on life . It’s sad to see him giving up hope to live everyday . He has extreme kidney failure which is due to his age . Life is a circle and we know what’s come on this Earth have to leave one day
    But still the heart cannot accept and it seems it was just yesterday when we saw the pluff boy looking at us with thoes goofy eyes to take him in .

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